16 April 2010

My biggest Secret

I don't know if i really want to talk about this here, because talking about it here puts it out there for all the world to see. AND THAT MY BLOGGING FRIENDS IS SCARY really scary. In fact while i am writing this i am shaking a little. But today for some reason I am gonna be really honest. I have been overweight since i was a little kid, in fact i don't ever really remember being a thin normal child although i was....I was overweight as a teenager which really wasn't fun, being a teenager is hard enough without being overweight. Now i am in my twenties and I sure don't want to go through my twenties being overweight for so many reasons. In the last 10 years i have pretty much hovered around the same weight, in the mid 80's except when i was preggers with Luke I shot up to 92 kg but i worked off around 14 kg which took me back to about 78kg. That is the biggest i have ever been but i wasn't there for long and the smallest i have been! The 79kg mark has been a huge hurdle for me- because i know this is gonna sound crazy for someone who desperately wants to be fit and healthy and wants to wear clothes that they like instead of clothes that fit. I am PETRIFIED of being slim!!!!!! Since new years i have been trying to loose weight but have only been loosing like 200grams a week. I wish that i had help but I know that I have to do the work, no one can do it for me I have to do it. Right now I am 85.5 Kgs (OMG so scary to put out there) My goal is to get to 60kg but I have never really been under 78 kg so that is i guess my first goal. I have to add an extra note about all the cupcakes on here, I am thinking about starting up some sort of cupcake business ( i have many ideas about how to go about this might get your thoughts on these later- also really scared to jump into that) so i have been baking heaps of cupcakes and muffins. I DON'T EAT THEM the most i do is open one up take a pinch out the middle and through the rest in the bin (the batch then get sent off to work with Paul or to my mums or anyone else who wants to eat them :D), sad part is i cant eat them... I have pcos and if i eat sugar i almost get an instant headache, this hasn't helped with my weight but if i lost 14kg before I can loose 25kg, yeah?? yeah. I'm gonna work Hard

I'm gonna post about this every Friday, hmmm lets call it Fatloss Friday :)
That is why i am posting this here so you can help me stay accountable and do happy dances for me as i loose the weight!
I have lots of weight 'goals' that aren't the weight itself but things that go with the weight that I want to reach, i will share them with you as we go along.

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