12 September 2011

A little balance

This Year I have been focusing on finding my balance and really sitting in that balance of happiness everyday. I fail often, very often but overall I have been finding it easier to bring myself back to a happy place and getting there quicker with practice day by day. One of the things that I had intended to do this year but hadn't been making a priority is to meditate. In the last week I have been meditating for up to 20 minutes every day. I keep meditating very simple all I am doing at the moment is sitting and  breathing and letting breath be a gift to myself. I have found it a huge gift! Especially with two noisy little boys running around all day it is easy to become stressed and I have found that there are so many times throughout the day when I have somehow forgotten to breathe. Also I have noticed that on the days that I meditate my day is so much smoother and I get far more done. It is easy to feel like you are running so fast but you are getting no where.

As far as finding enlightenment or even finding God for right now I am happy to just have a quiet place in my mind and may be on my quest my path may meander down the road and trip over God somehow that may be nice but a little quiet is all I'm searching for right now. Generally in my normal life i am quite a spiritual person and this is quite difficult when you live with an atheist :) . My beliefs about God have changed very much over the last few years. I was bought up in a very christian family, my grandpa was a minister ( he is now retired and is 96 years old!!)  I have an uncle who is a minister (and married Paul and I), my fathers family is also very religious, my mother  recently forced me to say that I believe Jesus lived and died just so I will go to heaven with her! I have huge issues with religion- too many. May be it would be easier if I let you know what I do believe. I believe that we come from love when we are born and we go to love when we die (all of us!! for what type of loving almighty god would exclude anyone? its not a club!). I believe that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and therefore I believe that God resides in me as me (yes I have read eat pray love) and I believe that god is love.

 Through the balance and happiness that I am continually searching out comes lots of questioning and that questioning has been leading me to a simpler life where I would rather make. grow. eat. simply because it makes me happier. Learning new skills and having something in my hands that I created makes me happy and has always made me happy since was a little girl and made things with cardboard boxes and poster paint. Following your bliss is all about asking yourself what really makes you happy (this year I also read the happiness project by Gretchen Rubin) and there are so many ways that you can question what you do in life and what you love but at the end of the day I am learning that I do not make.grow.eat (and I guess that I am learning to pray again lol) for political reasons or for environmental reasons or any other reasons but simply because I love it, simply because it makes me happy. And that is all the reason I need.

I hope that that is not to heavy for a Monday, over the weekend I was thinking about why I love blogging (following my bliss) and was thinking about how it is one place that I can be me. I can choose to share whatever I like here- it is not about being a mother a wife a daughter or a sister although I love being those things and share them here. It is not about censoring what I say but about creating some kind of journal about my life, I am no longer sharing just my scrap and craft shares, for a long time I have been putting more about me here. Its a really nice place to just be me.

The words Bliss and Nourish have been popping up a lot for me lately and I have been asking 'what is my bliss?' so... 
What is your bliss?

Later I will share what I did this weekend!

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