I am finding being in this space kinda hard to be in.
Life is getting in the way
And I don't know how good I feel about being here
I'm not the kind of person who finds it easy to get things done.
Others find it easier, but I am still learning, it doesn't come naturally
My life requires lists, organisation and lots of pushing.
I worry A LOT
And right now there is a balance that I am TIGHTLY holding onto
the tightness is exhausting. letting go is hard.
I know I shouldn't be holding on this tight it isn't healthy
There are still things I have to work through
It is getting easier, the things that bubble up now are easier to deal with
and I am far far happier
but to hold on to that happiness is still something that requires constant attention and constant checking.
I have come a very LONG LONG way. It is easy to forget that.
I am learning to love myself. I have to remind myself.
just being honest